Wednesday, November 25, 2009

A Bit Down Today

Vernie's funeral was today.

Thomas went to the viewing last night because he knew he wouldn't be able to make the funeral today. I wasn't sure if either of the kids would feel up to going; neither of them has been able to deal well with funerals since my dad died -- neither have I, but I've still gone.

Well, Eler Beth decided she wouldn't go, but Andrew said he'd feel bad if he missed it, since he'd known Vernie all his life, and I wanted to at the very least see Vernie's widow and express my condolences. So he and I went. We saw Jean as soon as we went in and gave her a hug. She looked like she was doing pretty well under the circumstances. She had all her kids and grandkids there. We spoke to a lot of other friends, and my sisters-in-law and some of my nieces-in-law were there. I did very well when I saw Vernie in the casket, his WWII photo beside him. But when I went to look at the display of other pictures they had I couldn't handle it and started crying. I told Andrew I'd have to step out to get myself composed, and my 20-year-old son put his arm around me (!!!) and gave me a squeeze and said we could go ahead and leave if I wanted to. Turns out I was staying for him and he was staying for me.

I never used to loose it like that at funerals but now they are very hard for me. Usually I can get through the funeral or memorial service and only toward the end do I get teary. But today it went beyond teary.

It's kind of a gloomy day anyway, and I am so tired, as if I hadn't slept much or well, so maybe my nerves are a bit compromised anyway.

Oh well, sorry for this gloomy bit of an entry. Thanks for indulging me.


Donna said...

Hey, gloomy is a part of life. Everybody gets depressed at funerals.

Martha (Menagerie) said...

I'm Sorry Lori - sending thoughts and *Hugs*

Anne said...

Gloomy? No, you are being real and that is why I love you so. I've always said, "funerals are for the living and it helps them grieve. It's a process that is different for everybody....but it helps. I have been going through my address book and found so many of my friends and family have died...but yet, I can't remove them from the book. Anne

That corgi :) said...

its your blog, Lori, you can write whatever you want in it; don't apologize because we "indulged" you. I'm sorry it was a tough day for you, but Andrew is definitely a keeper to pick up on your mood and to help you through it

I hope tomorrow is a good one for you and your family! Happy Thanksgiving!


ADB said...

I hope that you have a more cheerful day for Thanksgiving, Lori. Death is as much part of life as life itself

alphawoman said...

I went to way too many funerals last year including my Father's. They are hard to get through but mean so much to family. It was brave for you to go under the circumstances.

Hope thanksgiving Day is better for you. (sun shining??) (seems like the Ohio Valley is so gray and dreary from Nov thru Feb...)

Beth said...

I'm sorry it was so rough on you, Lori, but it's not surprising. How sweet of Andrew to be so supportive of you. Hugs, Beth

Barbara said...

It is always hard to loose a friend or loved one, but being close to a holiday makes it seem even bleaker, the loss somehow greater.

I'm proud of both of you for being there for that family and for each other.