Sunday, December 31, 2017

Closing out 2017

In preparation for doing my end-of-year post I went back to read last year's post which you can find hereSo as I close out 2017 I might just have to review and meditate on how I closed out 2016.

So 2017...

My mother turned 94.  Her health was really very much better this year than last year. They were finally able to help her terrible sciatic pain. She has slowed down significantly, as one would expect. But she is still so very healthy and strong, and her mind is still as sharp as ever. As a matter of fact, a couple of weeks ago she was doing one of those health surveys over the phone, I assume in connection with her insurance or some other health-related plan she belongs to, and my sister, Lois, sitting next to her, was helping her, making sure she heard the questions and was giving the answer she wanted to give. She was on speaker phone. My sister, P.J., who was there at the time, said that after several questions they asked her "How would you describe your overall health?" And P.J. said that Mom chirped brightly, "Excellent!!"  And that is what she is -- Excellent! I hope we have her with us many more years. :)

My brother, on the other hand... has had a significant change in his health for the worse. I have written before about his situation and that my sister Barbara is his main caregiver.  I will write more about this later, in more detail, but for now I will say that we had a scare very recently during which time it was discovered that he has an aneurysm and a pseudo-aneurysm in his groin area. They are both very large, and surgery is not an option because of the state of his veins. He could continue as he is for years, with his health deteriorating at the rate it has been doing so, or faster, or he could throw a blood clot or have an aneurysm rupture at any time. So we have made plans, arrangements, had family meetings, made sure that Barbara still feels able to handle his care at home. (She said, "I long ago resigned myself to the fact that Brother could die on my watch. I can handle it if that happens."  And that is what we needed to hear from her.) So, as I said, I'll write more about that later.

Thomas had treatment for prostate cancer.  That was a bucket of ice water to the face. He is doing very, very well.  The radiation treatments brought his PSA numbers down to better than normal. He will continue to take the hormone shots for a while, and they will continue to monitor his health, of course. I saw him tired this year in a way I have never, ever seen him, and that was a bit scary for me. But he is back to being his strong and happy self.  Last year I wrote about us, "There are, supposedly, landmark years where things change for people as individuals biologically and mentally, aren't there?...Well, anyway, I found that this year Thomas and I reached a new "plane" in our marriage, and it's a very good plane.  It seems like in areas where we might have been prone to disagree or make a big deal out of something, we are now more relaxed and accommodating toward one another. THIS YEAR I have seen a lot of little things solidify or bend, as the need may be, and I have felt more contentment as an individual and as a couple and a family."    In 2017 we celebrated our 30th anniversary. We had so very much to celebrate!

Andrew and Alexandria got married! We were so happy to welcome Alexandria officially as our daughter. We love and admire her so much, and they are so good for one another. Andrew is happier than I have seen him in years, content in a way I don't know if I've ever seen before.

Eler Beth and Anthony got engaged! I won't go on and on about that, because I have already written so many posts about them! Ha Ha!  But last year I wrote about Eler Beth, "She has great friends she can depend on, and is still intent on staying single until the perfect man for her comes along." Well, Anthony was one of those friends, and he came along.  He is the perfect match, the perfect complement for her and she for him.

I wrote last year that I had more trouble with depression and anxiety than I had had for many years and figured I was peri-menopausal.  I am still not IN menopause, but I guess I am in peri-menopause. I haven't actually asked my doctor about that. It wasn't any worse this year, and might perhaps have been a bit better, despite the cancer scare. Or maybe I just found that I can still call on reserves of strength when I need to be there for my husband while his hormones are out of whack, and he is overly tired from the radiation, and he is uncharacteristically having trouble concentrating and remembering things. And maybe one child marrying his best friend and the other child getting engaged to her best friend buoyed me up significantly. Anyway, I'm well. I'm enjoying planning Eler Beth's wedding and enjoying spending time with her and Anthony and Andrew and Alexandria.

I will end this post the way I ended last year's --  I hope anyone reading this has a very nice 2018. I hope I do too.

~~ Lori


Monday, December 18, 2017

Up To My Neck In Wedding Planning

I thought perhaps I should get on here and make a post before the end of the year. We've been, as you can expect, very, very busy around here lately.

We have a date, April 14, and we have the venues for both the wedding and the reception.  Eler Beth has her dress, and three of her four bridesmaids have theirs. Anthony has chosen the tuxes for him and his guys. Anthony's mom and I are working on the invitation lists. There is still a lot to do, but we're working on it.

I'd love to be able to share a picture of Eler Beth in her dress on here, but I guess I'd better not....

She is going to wear a tiara, chosen, but not bought yet, and a veil. At the bridal shop recently, when the girls were being fitted for their bridesmaids dresses, she tried on a tiara similar to the one she is going to be wearing (has to order it), and the veil that she is buying, and her dress, and that is when I teared up. I hadn't cried when she'd tried on the dress, but seeing her with the head gear on as well really hit me.

I'm still looking for my own dress. Thomas, lucky dog, doesn't have to worry about what he'll wear, since he'll be wearing a tux, like the rest of the guys.

In other news, Thomas is still doing very well. He doesn't go in to get his PSA numbers checked again until January. Andrew and Alexandria are doing well; we just had dinner with them last week.  My mother turned 94 this month, and the rest of the family is doing well.

I don't have much else to write about at the moment, but I did want to chronicle this a bit before the end of the year. I hope everyone out there is happy and healthy!

P.S. Anthony's apartment is only about two minutes from our house. But he hates to be alone, and Eler Beth doesn't go over there unless I or someone else is there as well. So when neither of them is working, Anthony is usually over here if there isn't somewhere else they have to be.  Thomas and I love having him here, and he is really making himself at home. A few times Andrew would drop by on his way home from work, let himself into the house with his own key, and stop short when he saw Anthony sitting on the couch. Now he doesn't seem to give it an extra thought. I guess it takes time for big brothers to get used to the idea of their little sisters being with someone. 

Anyway, sometimes if Eler Beth is still at work and Anthony is off work or didn't work that day, Thomas will call him when he gets home and see if he wants to come over because he knows Anthony hates to be home alone. Sometimes I come in from running errands or come into the living room from another room in the house, and there sit Thomas and Anthony, watching and laughing over an old movie on TV or listening to oldies music. I know this probably seems like nothing to be making a fuss over, but we are so happy that he is so very much at home in our home and that Eler Beth is so VERY happy with her guy and so natural and unaffected and comfortable around him at all times. They are so very right for each other!