Monday, October 20, 2008

It Has Been A Tough Weekend



Two deaths hit very close to our family late last week, and it has been a long and hard weekend for us.

Sometime Thursday night the mother of two of our good friends committed suicide. The girls are 17 and 15 and very close friends of Andrew's. Actually we are all very close to them; they are like family. They were "adopted" by a retired couple who are friends of ours, and that's how we really got close to them. K and B (the retired couple) are devastated and grieving as well, and having to deal with the girls' grief. I'll call the girls Ann and Sue because I don't want to use their real names or even their initials right now. Their personalities are very different from one another and they are grieving differently. I put my sister, Dennice, in touch with them over the weekend because Dennice has done grief counseling in the school system where she works, and I think that helped and reassured K, who was very worried about Ann who is withdrawn. We spent quite a bit of time with them over the weekend.

The other death was just as tragic and unexpected. The father of Andrew's ex-girlfriend had a massive heart attack on Friday. He was at work operating a forklift, and they said his expression changed, he fell over, and was dead instantly. His wife was in shock on Friday, but was able to cry on Saturday, which was good. The daughter, J, cried non stop Friday and Saturday until she started vomiting. She told Andrew on the phone today that she still isn't eating and that she can't cry anymore because she's dehydrated -- there are no tears. We are going to the funeral home this evening. The funeral is tomorrow, and I'm not sure if we'll be there, but we'll spend the evening with them tonight. J's mom is someone whose family my family has known for many years, so there was a connection there even before Andrew and J were dating. He and J are still good friends and we and her family have many mutual friends. As a matter of fact, J is friends with Ann and Sue, and all of the crowd that Andrew does things with knows all three of the girls. So we really have a "community" in mourning right now. But at least both families have a LOT of friends and family who are sharing their grief and going out of their way to do whatever is needed for the girls.

I'm not sure how much I'll be online today. This is the first time I've had time to sit and just relax, so I think I'll visit some journals (I can't say blogs anymore), if not now, then when we get home tonight.

Andrew is going to Florida next week, and instead of flying him down, Eler Beth and I have decided to drive him down over the weekend so I can see my sister and Eler Beth can visit the beach. It will be a quick trip, so I won't be able to meet up with anyone this time, but in the Spring we're taking a longer trip down, Thomas too, so we can do some ocean fishing, and when we do that I expect to meet up with Martha, and possibly others.

I'll be back later.

44 comments:

a corgi said...

(((Lori/family/friends)) I'm so sorry :(

such a sad time, but I'm glad people are rallying around each other and helping as they can

my thoughts with all

betty

Anne said...

Lori, I hold you and your family in my heart dear friend. Anne

Beth said...

Oh, that's just terribly sad, Lori. I hope all the families will be well, and that they will find the comfort they need. My thoughts and prayers are with you all.

Hugs, Beth

Paula said...

Sympathy to both families and so sorry for your loss.

Coelha :B said...

What a horrible weekend! My sympathies to all of you - Julie

Chris/cacklinrosie101 said...

Sheesh, I don't think anybody is ever prepared for those kinds of shocks. Keeping all your family and friends in my thoughts and prayers. I'm glad your sister was there for the two sisters. Poor things. HUGS

ADB said...

Lori, I am very sad for you and your family. Two sudden deaths, particularly when associated with young people must be singularly hard to cope with. I wish you and yours strength, including the families concerned.

Terri said...

My deepest sympathy to all...
so very sorry for your loss...so sad! My thoughts and prayers are with you all...

Hugs
Terri

sober white women said...

I will keep and your family in my heart over the next week. May God's grace cover you.
Kelli

Bucko (a.k.a., Ken) said...

My thoughts and prayers to the families and to your family as well.

Michelle said...

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I'm praying for both the families.

Love,

Michelle

Sherry said...

my heart and prayers go out to both families and to you and your family .
hugs
Sherry
http://onebiteonestepatatime.blogspot.com/

D said...

oh hon I'm so sorry.. sending good vibes, prayers, and strength.
hugs
d

Debbie said...

Lori, my deepest sympathy to you, your family and the families who lost their loved ones.
Hugs
Debbie

Traci said...

Big hugs! I'm so sorry.

Dawn said...

Oh my... I am so very sorry. Sending prayers. Glad help/counseling is available... your sister is great to do that.

be well...

Leigh said...

Hugs to you, your family and friends during this terrible time.
Leigh

I prefer the term journals, too.
:)

I Have Tea said...

((((((((((Lori))))))))))) I'm so sorry to hear of your losses. My prayers for all of you.

Indigo said...

My prayers on the smoke for these two families and the lives that are touched by the passing of their loved one. Such a sad heartfelt time. You and your family are in my thoughts during this time of sorrow. I'm so sorry to see you have to deal with this on top of one another. (Hugs)Indigo

CONNIE said...

I am so very sorry for all the tradgedy that has come to those you care about.Know you are all in my thoughts and prayers.
Eler Beth will have a good time at the beach.Hugs,
connie

Joann said...

Lori,
I'm SO very sorry for your family and the families of your friends. That is so very sad, I'll keep the families in prayer. Glad you live in a close knit community.

Joann

Joyce said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your tragedies. I have one going on right now too. Prayers all around.
Hugs, Joyce

~Rebecca Anne~ said...

Thinking of you, your family and the ones that have been hurt by these loses. Take care, lots of hugs and love for everyone.
Rebecca

Donna - DBP said...

Lori: I am sooo sorry for the recent tragedies you have been close to. It is so devastating for everyone involved. You are all in my prayers.

Coco said...

So sorry for your loss and the loss of both families. Coco

Yasmin said...

Sorry for your loss and to both of the families.

Yasmin
x

alphawoman said...

I can so relate to this post. I am so sorry for the girls involved.

Lisa said...

So sorry to hear of these tragedies, I will keep you all in my thoughts & Prayers. Those poor girls, awww, my heart just aches for them.

Searching for Peace said...

I am so very sorry about your losses. My sister died last year this time of the month. I alo cried until I threw up many times. I cried until I couldnt cry anymore. God bless then.....hugs, Christine

Jeannette said...

How sad and awful. What a frightful weekend. I will hold families of all concerned in my prayers.

Bill said...

A very stressful time for you all. Libby and I will think of those who have passed. My Regards, Bill.

Martha said...

How awful Lori! I'm so sorry to hear this sad news. My sympathy, thoughts and prayers to all involved. (((Hugs)))

Nelishia said...

I'm stopping by and sending you my love and prayers for a safe trip there and back.

What a time for everyone.

(((((LORI, ANDREW, ELER BETH))))

Nelishia

Lisa said...

I am so sorry to hear about these deaths... I will be keeping these families in my prayers.
Lisa

Kathy said...

Many virtual hugs your way for your own family as well as your friends families.

Amanda said...

So sorry my dear. Makes you think lots of things... like how precious life is. Thankfully, if they knew Jesus, we know they will be in Heaven with HIm.

Many blessings to you and yours-
Amanda

Linda said...

Oh {{{Lori}}}....I'm so sorry.
My thoughts and prayers will be with all your friends and their families, as well as yours. I can only imagine all the pain and heartbreak everyone is going through...life can take such sad turns :(

Prayers & Healing Pooh Hugs,
Linda

Justplainbill said...

Lori, sorry to hear of such a tragic lose. My heart and prayers go out to the daughters. I have two adopted children.

Did your daughter Eler Beth ever transfer her journal to Google. I would hate to miss any of her postings. Bill

Lynne said...

So sorry to hear of these tragic deaths! My heart goes out to the families and friends! My sincere condolences to you, friends and family!

Janie said...

That is really sad. We just went through that with 14 yr. old and Sunday School teacher. Will keep all in my prayers. Lori do you have the link to the page where you download a journal to blogger? I just remembered my dil asked me how to do it. I deleted the link. Hope all of you have a restful week. Blessings, Janie

Gerry said...

I just came by to see how you are doing. I do think a death by suicide causes extra pain and suffering for a long time. But sounds like people in your family are aware of that and will be there for the girls. As well as their adopted parents. I appreciate the fact that you don't want to go into many details at this time. Gerry

Rose said...

you are in my prayers.

Jenna said...

I'm so very sorry for your losses. My deepest sympathy to the families, and to your family.
Jenna

natalie said...

Dear LOri
My Deepest Condolences to yuo adn your family for teh loss of these good friends.
I hope you and your familya re ok ..is it going ok?
Would you like me to write an entry abotu this?
So sorry Lori .
I hope that the kids will be ok
love you,natalie