Monday, October 20, 2008
It Has Been A Tough Weekend
Two deaths hit very close to our family late last week, and it has been a long and hard weekend for us.
Sometime Thursday night the mother of two of our good friends committed suicide. The girls are 17 and 15 and very close friends of Andrew's. Actually we are all very close to them; they are like family. They were "adopted" by a retired couple who are friends of ours, and that's how we really got close to them. K and B (the retired couple) are devastated and grieving as well, and having to deal with the girls' grief. I'll call the girls Ann and Sue because I don't want to use their real names or even their initials right now. Their personalities are very different from one another and they are grieving differently. I put my sister, Dennice, in touch with them over the weekend because Dennice has done grief counseling in the school system where she works, and I think that helped and reassured K, who was very worried about Ann who is withdrawn. We spent quite a bit of time with them over the weekend.
The other death was just as tragic and unexpected. The father of Andrew's ex-girlfriend had a massive heart attack on Friday. He was at work operating a forklift, and they said his expression changed, he fell over, and was dead instantly. His wife was in shock on Friday, but was able to cry on Saturday, which was good. The daughter, J, cried non stop Friday and Saturday until she started vomiting. She told Andrew on the phone today that she still isn't eating and that she can't cry anymore because she's dehydrated -- there are no tears. We are going to the funeral home this evening. The funeral is tomorrow, and I'm not sure if we'll be there, but we'll spend the evening with them tonight. J's mom is someone whose family my family has known for many years, so there was a connection there even before Andrew and J were dating. He and J are still good friends and we and her family have many mutual friends. As a matter of fact, J is friends with Ann and Sue, and all of the crowd that Andrew does things with knows all three of the girls. So we really have a "community" in mourning right now. But at least both families have a LOT of friends and family who are sharing their grief and going out of their way to do whatever is needed for the girls.
I'm not sure how much I'll be online today. This is the first time I've had time to sit and just relax, so I think I'll visit some journals (I can't say blogs anymore), if not now, then when we get home tonight.
Andrew is going to Florida next week, and instead of flying him down, Eler Beth and I have decided to drive him down over the weekend so I can see my sister and Eler Beth can visit the beach. It will be a quick trip, so I won't be able to meet up with anyone this time, but in the Spring we're taking a longer trip down, Thomas too, so we can do some ocean fishing, and when we do that I expect to meet up with Martha, and possibly others.
I'll be back later.