Wednesday, May 4, 2016

Depression and All of Its Little Friends

I have been having more trouble with my depression lately; episodes more often and for longer duration. I thought that when spring finally got here maybe it would be better, but it has actually gotten worse. It's that darkness that creeps over me periodically, only it seems to be settling in in a way it hasn't done for many years. Perhaps I need to make a change to my medication.  My anxiety issues are a bit worse as well as my compulsions, and even my RLS has been acting up. I'm sure they are all tied in there together. I'm fifty now and am quite sure I am in peri-menopause, so certainly that must not be helping matters.

I have known the depression was getting worse because I've had to force myself to read books off my TBR pile. Also, other little things that normally would bring me pleasure are now a chore, so I've cut a lot of little daily things out of my normal routine. And the only reason I'm blogging today is that I made little slips of papers with things I usually enjoy doing and projects I've wanted to get to written on them, put them in a bowl, and picked one at random. It happened to be "Blog," so I'm blogging. Whoo-hoo.

Yesterday I had a really bad migraine, worse than I've had in a while. I had a very euphoric postdrome that had me zipping around the house and writing a rather frenzied letter to Barbara before crashing and feeling like crap for the rest of the day. Oh yes, and a crying jag or two went along with that crash. Yes, depression and all its little friends are visiting me, and I don't seem to have the strength to kick them out!


Geo. said...

Lori, I'm not an M.D., but my own G.P. would be very concerned by your symptoms. Yes, I suffer from General Anxiety Disorder --attended by some depression and OCD. What you describe in your post would send me to the phone for an immediate appointment. Your mention of an adjustment to your meds is very important, and doubtless what's needed, but under supervision. Your symptoms are close to what I've called into the Dr.'s once or twice about and told the receptionist, "I'm scared". They don't want you to suffer. Tomorrow morning, ok?

Lori said...

Thank you Geo. And yes, I've made an appointment with my doctor. I really thought the spike in episodes of depression was seasonal or weather related, but obviously not. I'm due for a general check up anyway. I've also thought for some time that the medication I've been on for years now isn't working like it used to, so perhaps a total change is needed. We'll see. And thank you again for your very sincere concern. I really, really appreciate that.


One of my daughters has SAD. It is hard to rein in, I know. As for the bad migraine, that is something my younger daughter struggles with too. They can be brutal. I think you should see your doc and see what can be done, that is not already. HANG in there.

Barbara In Caneyhead said...

It's good to hear from you my dear bloggy friend, but I'm saddened to know you are dealing with all of this. I am so glad to know you have an appointment scheduled. I had depression a few years before I started menopause. During it, I went a little wild. Missing, yearning for my youth. Then as I started to emerge from it, I just felt relieved, free, at home with myself like never before. Just remember, whatever the cause, depression is only a season and seasons always change.
Barbara, blogging at Life & Faith in Caneyhead