I Needed A Change

So I started a new blog just in time for NaBloPoMo

And here is the link --

     Seven of Seven -- Dusty Pages Revisited

I've only just started, and it may take me a while to get it right. But I'm going to try.

Boy Did I Get Behind!

What can I say? Life got busy, and I got out of the mood to blog.

And {drum roll} I FINALLY am having hot flashes! I don't WANT to have hot flashes, you understand. But I DID want to finally get properly into menopause, and it looks like that's where I'm going. They aren't horrible, but they aren't fine, either. I am already a person who does not do well with heat. I'm the person who is in shorts and a t-shirt in 40 and 50 degree weather. But I know it could be worse. My son's mother-in-law has been having really, really bad hot flashes for a year and a half now -- the kind of hot flashes that have sweat pouring off of her in buckets. When Thomas was undergoing his treatment and radiation for his prostate cancer, he had horrible hot flashes like that where sweat was pouring off him. And he is the person who is in many layers of clothing, coats, and hats when it is 70 degrees outside. He is so sympathetic to me right now lol.

A few days ago I had to gown up to screen a baby in semi-isolation, and I had a hot flash while I was doing the screen. When I came out of the room and took off the gown and gloves, they PEELED off me, and it was the first time that my clothing was actually sticking to me! I thought I was going to have to change scrubs. 

NaBloPoMo, The Seventh Post

Does This Count?

This won't be much of a post, I'm afraid. 

Last week someone commented to a blogger on a thread in the FB group "NaBloPoMo Revival" that she would have liked to have left her comment on the actual post but didn't have a Blogger (or was it Google?) account and didn't want to be rude and post as "Anonymous." So she was commenting to this blogger's post in the FB group. 

Blogger no longer supports Open ID, so I think you must have a Blogger account to leave a comment that shows your name. I don't mind if someone posts as "Anonymous" on my blog as long as it is a real comment and not spam. I have my settings so that I have to approve any comments, so I can tell if it is a real comment from a real person.

So if you want to comment and can only do it as Anonymous, please go ahead. You can always give your name in your comment if you'd like. 

Today is my last day off for a few days; back to work tomorrow. I'm feeling much better today, so I guess I did well to take it easy. I'll have a potentially long day tomorrow.

I'm a dog lighter at my house. The little Pomski I was dog-sitting went home today; my English Setter is happy to have me all to himself again.

And that's about it for now.

Ta!

~~Lori

NaBloPoMo Sixth Post!

Six Days Late!

Oh well! I haven't managed to do a post every day.  This is the first time I've failed at NaBloPoMo -- well, failed in that I've missed multiple days. But I still plan to make 30 posts this month, even though some days will be multiple-post days.

I started feeling bad last week with a head cold/sinus congestion/sneezing/maybe allergies/who-knows-what kind of thing. I have not run a fever and it hasn't gotten bad, so I didn't take off work last week, but I just didn't feel up to much when I got home each evening. I had four days off in a row to look forward to, and I'm on that third day right now. I don't go back to work until Wednesday. I'm monitoring myself and treating my cold symptoms in order to make sure that I don't -- or haven't -- contracted something contagious. I work with newborn babies, so I can't work if I think I might be contagious. I usually take Claritin and Flonase every morning, and that usually keeps my congestion away, but I ran out of Claritin and kept forgetting to stop to get more, and when I do that for a few days in a row, then I can get head congestion that takes longer to get rid of. I really do think that that, plus our onset of colder weather and some long, stressful days, have resulted in what I am now experiencing.

Saturday I didn't do much of anything, just tea and naps on the couch with the dogs. Yesterday was more of the same with a bit of housecleaning and a visit by our son and his wife yesterday evening. Today I'm again taking it easy and actually feel like blogging, so here it is, such as it is.

Things I want to blog about, in no particular order:

• Dog-sitting

• My job

• Our daughter's wedding

• Our daughter's illness

• Pets

• My mother

• My sisters and brother

• My father

• Some visits to some past blog posts

• Home schooling

Seems like there is enough fodder there to fill out the rest of the month, doesn't it?

So, I will try to post every day, perhaps a few posts today, and we'll see if I can catch up. I not only feel like blogging today but like reading other blogs as well, so hopefully I still have some readers (!!), and hopefully I'll see you around the blogosphere!

Ta for now,

~~ Lori

NaBloPoMo Day 5

Venting My Spleen

No, I'm not going to vent it, I'm going to talk about it. It's an expression I like. I was skimming over some older posts from this year and in one of them I mentioned "relieving" or "venting" my spleen. Do you ever use that expression?

In ancient Greek medicine it was believed that there were four "humors" that determined behavior and emotion. They were Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, and Melancholic. The organ associated with the melancholic humor was the spleen and the qualities were cold and dry. I wonder if when Shakespeare wrote Petruchio saying of Katherine, "I'll tame her mad and headstrong humor," he was speaking of changing her from a hot and dry (choleric) humor to a cold and dry (melancholic) humor. That might fit. But why did the spleen change from symbolizing melancholy to anger? 

My first introduction to the phrase being used this way was when I began reading Georgette Heyer at about the age of sixteen. Heyer used a lot of historic slang, appropriate for the period she was writing about, and she used the phrase about venting one's spleen more than once. Back then you couldn't look up phrase origins on the Internet like you can today. But I was an avid reader with eclectic tastes, and at some point I came across a book where one of the characters believed in phrenology -- the

Victorian notion that one's character or natural tendencies could be told by "reading" the bumps on one's head. I brought this up in conversation with my elder sister, Barbara, who had an encyclopedic knowledge of obscure subjects, and during the discussion we covered not only phrenology but humors as well. She told me about the spleen being one of the sources of the humors, and we discussed venting the spleen meaning anger, which I knew it did by the context of what I was reading.

Now, of course, we have the Internet, so we can look up things like this.  One of my favorite websites is The Word Detective, and he says of the phrase, "The spleen's job is to act as a sort of filter for the blood, but in medieval times, when each bodily organ was thought to be the home of one emotion or another, the spleen was regarded as the seat of melancholy.... There was apparently a brief period later on when the spleen was suspected, improbably, of supplying humor and good cheer, but by the late 16th century it was decided that the spleen was the source of rage and ill-temper. Thus 'spleen' has for several centuries been a metaphor for 'anger,' 'resentment' and general crankiness."

And it was my general crankiness of which I was relieving myself in the earlier mentioned older blog post. I don't "vent my spleen" too often, though. Aren't you glad? :)

Ta for now,

~~ Lori

NaBloPoMo 2018 -- Day Four

Loss

Our J-Land friend, an anchor of our online blogging community, Donna Diggins, passed away today. I first met Donna through her AOL Journal This and That and Hockey For a while Donna kept a blog on Blogger called D's Designs, but it won't load for me when I click on the link that I have. 

Donna used to enjoy creating animated graphics that she would "tag" for her friends and offer on her blog. I still have several that I got from her over the years. (For the life of me, I can't recall what the program was that she used to create them.) She was a pretty good photographer, too.

We stayed friends on FB after AOL Journals shut down, and our Facebook J-Land community mourns her there.

On another sad note, an elderly friend of ours passed away this morning also. She was a spunky, outspoken lady in her eighties. Wanda truly loved people. She "never met a stranger," as the saying goes. We will miss her greatly.

Again, Dedicated to you, Donna.

And that's it for today, folks. I'll try to be more creative tomorrow, but I'm a bit drained right now and still nursing a head cold.

Hug your family. Call your mom and dad. Say "I love you" every chance you get. Don't waste your minutes, your breath, or your health on getting angry about little things or differences of opinion. Everyone have a good night.

Ta for now

~~ Lori

NaBloPoMo -- Day Three, Belated~~

Yesterday I was just TOO tired!

I missed my post yesterday! I don't think I've ever done that during NaBloPoMo; at least I don't remember if I have. I worked yesterday and my day ended up being longer than I had expected. And then in the evening I started getting sick with a head cold, sneezing and feeling a bit achy. So I just went to bed.

Feeling a bit better today, but I definitely have a lot of head congestion. I know so many people who have had a nasty stomach thing rampaging through their families, so I won't complain too much about a head cold.

Going to close this now, though. I'll make a proper post for today before I head to bed.

Ta for now!

~~ Lori

NaBloPoMo 2018 -- Day Two

What A Very Busy Eighteen Months

My blog doesn't really have a theme, especially not now that the kids are grown and married. I guess if there were a theme it would just be "continuing -- but changing -- everyday adventures of the Helms family." If you are new to my blog, welcome! I think I'll post a few entries from the past in some future posts, just because some actually are worth sharing again, and also to introduce myself to new readers. 

So much has happened in our family in the past year and a bit more. I've written about most of it here but not all of it. Thought I'd give a quick synopsis for my second post this month -- mostly because it is getting late, and I need to get to bed, and I don't know what else to write about! :) 

So last year Thomas was diagnosed with prostate cancer. It was caught very early thanks to our family doctor insisting that he come in for his annual checkup, including blood workup. He underwent 49 days of radiation, and afterwards his PSA numbers were back to a nice low number. At his most recent appointment his PSA was a bit higher than his urologist "would like to see it," but not too high. He goes back in three months, and if it is any higher at that time, then they may want to do something about it.

Andrew and Alexandria got officially engaged and then upped their wedding date and got married in July in a simple, sweet, outdoor wedding, with just close family and a few friends present. We're very happy to have Lexi as our daughter-in-law, and the two of them are very happy.

Eler Beth got engaged back in September and I had the pleasure and excitement of planning a BIG wedding for her and Anthony. And it was beautiful. I never thought a person could actually spend as much on a wedding as we did, but it was actually surprisingly (and depressingly) easy lol!!  We wanted to, though. Anthony has a large Italian family where the weddings are always big, and we wanted him to have one at least as nice as his two sisters' weddings were. We had an unexpected windfall that came just at the right time, and we used some of our savings and were rather proud that we were able to pay for everything without going into debt for any of it. I still need to post pictures from the shower and the wedding itself. 

Around December of last year Thomas told me that he was pretty sure the company he'd worked for most of our married life was getting ready to make some big changes. He felt that at the very least there would be a big layoff, probably around March, and that he wouldn't be surprised if the company actually closed. Well, in the past his hunches have usually been proven true, so we began making some plans. These included knee surgery for him.

He'd needed surgery on his right knee for a very long time but had kept putting it off -- mostly because he didn't want to be off work for several weeks. But the knee was bowing out to the right so badly, and the pain was getting so bad, that we knew he'd have to do it this year. He wanted to be able to walk Eler Beth down the aisle and dance with her at her wedding, so we planned for the surgery to be in January. He went on medical leave and had a very successful surgery. The surgeon didn't just replace the knee, but he had to do some reconstructive surgery there as well. Thomas' recovery was rapid. At his six week checkup the surgeon talked about how much work he actually did on the knee as well as the muscles and tendons around it. Then he said, "If I have many patients like you, I'll have to go into another line of work!"

Toward the end of his medical leave he learned he would, in fact, be laid off on March 22, so he had really called that right. And then we found out that the company was actually closing at the end of April. So he'd called that right as well.  He had been putting out feelers during his recovery time before he even got his layoff notice, so he had several jobs lined up to choose from by the time he was released to go back to work. He chose the one that we felt would work best for him, and that is where he is still. He likes the work he is doing, the location, and the hours, but a couple of his supervisors are proving to be a bit underhanded. Also, he isn't getting the overtime hours he'd been promised, and if you have known us for long (in real life or as online friends) you know that Thomas is a workaholic and likes to know that he is making enough money to provide for the family by himself if needed. So he has found another company he wants to work for and has begun their testing process. We'll see what happens there.

Around January I decided I might like to take a part-time job. We were using Thomas' short-term disability while he was on medical leave, and I figured we'd probably have to dip further into our savings or 401k after the wedding before he got back to work -- and knew that we'd definitely have to if he did have to change jobs. So a little extra income would help out. But also, I felt like it might help me during the transition to "empty nester" after Eler Beth's wedding. So over the course of a couple of days I played around on "Indeed," updated my resume, and put in some applications. Then I got busy planning the bridal shower and continuing with the wedding planning, and forgot all about it! Toward the end of March I got a call from a company at which I had applied asking if I was still interested and would I like to set up an interview. I couldn't even remember what the job was for! But yes, I was interested, I did interview, I did accept the job, and I love it! More about that in a later post. Hint: It gives me my grandbaby fix so I don't pressure either of our kids into having babies before they're ready :).

I started the job the week after Eler Beth's Bridal shower. She and Anthony were married in April and spent 10 days in Florida. They were both working here in town, living in an apartment only a couple of minutes from our house, and then Anthony got a job offer that he really couldn't turn down about an hour and a half from us. That was a bit of a hard blow at first. If you know us at all, you know how close Eler Beth and I are. They moved up there only a month after they were married. And it is fine. She calls or messages me every day, and we usually see each other every week to ten days. Seriously, I don't think more than ten days have gone by since they've moved that we haven't seen each other. She comes down here for doctor's appointments, spends the night, and then goes home. Or I (or we) go up there to spend the day with them. Or both of them come down here to spend the weekend with us. 

The bad thing is that Eler Beth has been having health issues since right after they got home from their honeymoon. They actually had started before the wedding, but the symptoms changed and got bad right before they moved. She is doing better, and I will write more in detail about that later. 

We have three new dogs and one of our dogs died of old age very recently. 

A couple of weeks ago my Mother's baby brother died, so that leaves my Mom, who will be 95 in December, and only one brother surviving of the nine children. My Mother is doing very well, and I need to get down to see her more often.

My brother had a heart attack the same day that my uncle died, but he is doing well now. He has congestive heart failure and has been bedridden for the past two years from the stroke he had 20 years ago and from other health issues including issues arising from Agent Orange from his time in Viet Nam. So his health will just continue to deteriorate, but for now he is holding his own.

So I think that brings us up-to-date pretty much. I'll expound on these happenings in our family's life in future posts. I used to enjoy posting funny things the kids did when they were little, and I think maybe I can dig out some current amusing fodder for future posts if I try hard lol. 

Ta for now.

~~ Lori

NaBloPoMo Anyone?

NaBloPoMo Day 1 -- Yes, this might be a good month to start posting again.

One of the first "Journalers" I met and whose journal I began to follow when I first began blogging on AOL Journals was Donna Diggins (Nightmaremom). Donna is going through an illness right now and I have just recently learned that she is now in Hospice care. 

So my first post this month will be to send my love and thoughts her way and to say how much I enjoyed her blog back in the day. She shared many of her images like the one above, quite often offering up personalized GIFs for her online friends to use in their own blogs, and I'm glad I managed to save so many of them. 

Here's to you, Donna. I dedicate this 2018 NaBloPoMo to you!!


So much has happened this year -- Thomas' knee surgery, his change of job, my going back to work, and I need to catch everyone up on Eler Beth's wedding, so maybe this will be the push I needed to get back into blogging. 

I have done NaBlo several times, but not every year -- I tend to skip a year here and there. But this seems like a good year to do it. Join me if you can.


This isn't much of a kick-off for the month, but, such as it is, this is it! 

Ta for now.

#NaBloPoMo2018

Maybe I Will

I have so many things to write about and so little time to write! I'm in the mood to write today, so maybe I'll dash off a couple of blog posts. 

And maybe I won't lol.

I have several drafts here of blog entries that I have started over the past few months but haven't finished, mainly because I was waiting on or editing pictures to include. So what I should do is begin, today, to polish up those posts and get them on here. Maybe I will.

And maybe I won't.

Coming Soon!

Pictures and commentary from the Bridal Shower, the last few days leading up to the wedding, and the Wedding itself. I just flat out have not had a moment to post until today. I'll leave this preview photo from the photographer here until I can make a proper post.

Six Days to Go...

Today was my girl's last Saturday as a single lady!

So we went shopping lol.  I finally found my shoes for the wedding. I'd been putting it off and putting it off. I've given up looking for the "perfect" dress. I like the one I bought fine, and Eler Beth likes it, which is what matters. It fits and is comfortable. It will do. I've shopped in every department store and designer boutique in Southern Indiana and Kentucky -- well, at least in a 20-or-so-mile radius of my house. It IS possible to be TOO picky, after all.

Thomas has spent the past week dealing with some major plumbing issues at our house -- this is not the time we need to be dealing with plumbing issues!! So my brother-in-law Bill (P.J.'s husband) and my nephew Brad came up yesterday AND today to help him get it all sorted out. It was so extremely nice of them, and they wouldn't accept payment for any of the hard work they did. Bradley, especially is rather adept at figuring out plumbing problems. I'm not sure how we'll ever repay them. We didn't need to be dealing with it right now, and we certainly didn't need to be paying a big plumber's bill. They fixed the issues we had AND replaced a LOT of pipe AND installed an extra clean out under the house. I love my family!

So, six days and counting!

~~ Lori

Seven More Days!!!

Things Besides Wedding Planning Have Been Going On

But First...NINE MORE DAYS!!

It's getting really real!

Melissa (Anthony's mom) and I have been burning up the phone and Internet lines between us this week. Everything is coming together. 

I can't wait to get these two hitched!!




Other things...

We've had a lot of other things going on this year that I haven't written about here or on Facebook. Of course, there was Thomas' knee replacement, which I DID write about. But being pain-free and able to walk Eler Beth down the aisle without limping wasn't the only reason Thomas decided to have the surgery when he did. He knew he might get laid off in the Spring.

Thomas has always had this uncanny knack for knowing when something big was going to happen at work. He has been with this company for a total of 21 years and over those years he has dealt with contract negotiations every three or four years and the occasional strike or lay off. He has always seen it coming and never have we had to deal with his being off work for very long. One year I can remember him telling me that he had a feeling there was going to be a strike and that it would probably last for quite a while. He had a job lined up before they even voted on the contract. Sure enough, the vote was to strike and the union and company didn't come to terms for four whole months.  But Thomas had us covered.

So last summer he told me that he was getting vibes throughout "the yard" that something was going on with the company and that since 2018 was a contract year he was expecting it to be a difficult contract -- "If it even comes to that," he said. As the year went on he said he had a feeling that it was more than that and that the company was in financial trouble. By December he was talking to a friend of a friend who had offered him a job in the past, just "keeping my options open."  By the end of December we had sat down, done our finances, figured out what Eler Beth's wedding was going to cost (!!!!!), and made sure that if he was off for several weeks recuperating from knee surgery, that we could manage on his short-term disability. "They're going to be laying off, and it would take a lot for them to reach me, but I have a feeling they're going to actually close the doors before contract time in April," is what he told me.

So he made the appointment for the knee surgery, we were kept apprised of what was happening at work by friends, and about every two weeks a group of salaried and hourly employees got their lay off notices. "It'll hit me about the middle of March," he told me.

Sure enough, as of March 12 he was laid off. By that time he had applied to about a dozen companies and had taken interviews with three of them. The company announced before the end of March that it would be closing down completely by May.  Two weeks ago he had five job offers and just had to decide which was going to work best for us, hour-wise and money-wise. Last week he accepted the best offer, we moved his 401k to a different investment firm, and Monday the 9th he will start with a new company.

His former company may regroup and come back in a year or two with new investors/owners, probably non-union, and perhaps not doing the same type of work as before, or it may never come back. But either way Thomas will never work for them again. He gave them a lot of years of his life, a lot of really hard physical labor, and a lot of skill and experience, for which he has vested pension with them. He'll take the hard work, skill, and experience somewhere else now until time to retire, and the work he'll be doing won't be as physically demanding.

I'm glad he had the foresight to see this coming and make the arrangements he did. And I'm glad I had the foresight two years ago to elect a supplemental critical illness insurance through his company because when he got prostate cancer last year, it paid off well. Not that we're glad he got the cancer, but the insurance payment took care of us while he was home recuperating from the knee surgery, paid for Eler Beth's wedding (!!!!! I can't believe how expensive nice -- not extravagant -- weddings are now !!!!!) and kept us from having to really worry about the possibility of his being laid off for a while before finding the right job.

So, yeah, we've been pretty busy and preoccupied the past nine months or so, and not just from wedding planning. So far things are working out okay, and I hope they continue to do so. But if they don't, we'll deal with it. We're resilient and creative, and so far we've faced everything with the right attitude.  Life can throw some wicked curve balls, and things don't always turn out the way we need them to. Sometimes those silver linings are there, and sometimes they aren't. But we're determined to make the most of them when they are there and just plow on when they aren't.

More later...

~~ Lori

Last Few Details

Tomorrow I'm getting the finalized head count and the menu choices to the caterer. And since I have the day off, I'll be going over all my lists to see what still needs to be done.

I have bought a dress, but I'm not extremely happy with it. I still have a place or two I'm going to look this week. If I don't find something I like better, then I'll go with this one. It looks decent on me, and Eler Beth likes it, but it just wasn't exactly what I wanted.

Thomas and I had dinner tonight at Texas Roadhouse with Andrew and Alexandria AND Eler Beth and Anthony. It is hard to get our schedules to mesh right for us to get to be with all the kids at once like that, so today was very nice. I'm so proud of Andrew and Eler Beth and I love their choices in marriage so much.

It's getting exciting at the Helms house!

~~ Lori

And the Countdown Begins!!

Two more weeks until the wedding!!!

We've had so much busy-ness the past few weeks. I have a lot to write about!

But not today lol!

~~ Lori

A New Knee in the New Year

Thomas has needed to have surgery on his right knee for a long time now. He finally decided at the end of 2017 that he wanted to get it done now and be healed and ready to walk Eler Beth down the aisle in April. So he found a surgeon he really liked and plans were made. 

On Wednesday a week ago, we got to the hospital before 5:30 for his 8 am surgery.  Thomas is very cold-natured. Did you know they have these wonderful gowns that have a lining that hot air can be pumped into to keep you warm? We didn't. When they had him change into a gown during the prep, we found out. Here he is with that wonderful warm air encasing him AND a heated blanket. Look at that face. Yes, that man loves his heat!

We might have to get one of these for home.

They took him back earlier than 8, and I waited in the surgical waiting room and watched a movie on Netflix. They kept me informed on how things were going. At 9:50 they notified me that he had done great and was in recovery. The surgery was a bit longer than usual, but that was because he had gone so long on that bad knee that it had bowed out a lot and the doctor took his time straightening out the leg.

When I was able to go back to see him, he barely woke up to acknowledge I was there. At one point he opened his eyes, saw me, and slurred, "You need to go sit down and relax." I thought that was very sweet of him.

   

It took a while for them to get a room ready for him; the hospital was super busy that day, and they had done 40 surgeries. But soon he was settled, and he ate a few bites of a late lunch/early dinner. Physical Therapy came and got him up in a chair and on his feet that evening, and he walked with the aid of a walker to the bathroom and back to the chair. Then he stayed in the chair for a while. Andrew dropped by on his way home from work and visited with me for an hour, but Thomas didn't wake up the whole time he was there. I got documented proof that he was there, though!

Later Anthony and Eler Beth came to spend the rest of the evening with us. Eler Beth really wanted to spend the night there, but we convinced her to go on home. I stayed though, and soon was in my jammies and ready to stretch out on the little chair that pulled out into a bed.  I took a rare-for-us selfie before Thomas drifted off to sleep. I don't usually allow photos like this of me -- no make-up, sleep-deprived, and in my pajamas!

The next morning Dr. Bell came in around 6:30 to take a look at the knee, and I got my first look at the incision site.

He had his first and second sessions with the physio-therapist that day, and she was very impressed with how well he did. I was impressed and very surprised, although I guess I shouldn't have been. He has always been a very strong man and very active. 

Eler Beth and Anthony spent most of the afternoon with us, and Andrew came by again. This time Thomas was awake and could enjoy his visit. We enjoyed listening to the three kids visiting.

On Friday the doctor said he was keeping him one more day just to give it a little extra rest because it was such an extensive surgery, but that everything looked good. He had two more PT sessions. His appetite came back this day, and for the rest of his stay, he ate good nourishing meals.  

Saturday morning the doctor gave the okay, and I started packing and getting things carried down to the car. He had one more PT session that morning before we left and by early afternoon we were home and Thomas was ensconced in his recliner in the living room.  Before we left the hospital I noticed the board on the wall in his room. "Feel better" lol

Home Health came by on Monday to do Thomas' evaluation and some therapy. He told him he was much, much further along than he was expected to be, and that he was walking so well that he could switch from the walker to a cane. So we retired the walker.

On Tuesday Thomas started acting a bit more like himself. He didn't need the pain meds all throughout the day, and he didn't even use the polar pack (ice-thingy) very often.

Today the therapist came back, put Thomas through his paces, again told him how well he was doing and said that he didn't even have to use the cane if he didn't want to. He had been wandering all over the house with it, so I guess now he'll wander all over without it lol.  I hope he doesn't get TOO bored before he is cleared to go back to work.

Perspective

The past few days I have been a little bit pouty and "woe is me" and feeling oh-so sorry for myself for several reasons. I've kept it to my myself and not ruined anyone else's day or asked for a "poor baby," or anything, and I have maybe a BIT of a right to have felt the way I have, but something my sister, Maxine, posted on Facebook yesterday made me  feel a bit ashamed of myself and put things in perspective.

I like my "me" time. As a matter of fact, I really, seriously, honestly, NEED "me" time in order to function well mentally and physically. And when I say "me" time, I don't just mean time to relax and do something for "me." I mean time alone at home to WORK, to do things for other people correctly, to be able to THINK so that I don't forget something important, to be able to talk aloud to myself or to the pets without someone thinking I'm talking to them and saying, "what?" or trying to answer me.  I need time when there are NO interruptions or when there is nothing going on in the background to distract me so that I can pay bills, record receipts, look over and update my to-do list, take care of wedding planning business, make phone calls, write letters, wash dishes, clean the house, do laundry.... So, you see, I'm not talking about time to soak in a bubble bath, or watch my favorite movie while having a glass of wine, or read a book without interruption. I just want a bit of time a few times a week to GET THINGS DONE while no one is here. And I haven't had that. Thomas has been home a lot because of the weather; Eler Beth has been home a lot because of her work schedule, and; Anthony has been here a lot at our house because, well, that's where Eler Beth is! There is almost always someone here. 

So I've been feeling sorry for myself and letting it build up inside of me.

Then I saw this post by my third-eldest sibling yesterday:

"Well, it's been fifty years now. Ronnie and I were married on January 13, 1968. This picture was taken in May the following year.  We had stopped at Judy and Luke's the evening of my high school graduation from Hancock Co. High -- 1969." And she included this picture:

Ronnie died in 1996 from a brain tumor after about a year of treatment. His first three grandchildren (one set of twins) were born in March and April, only a few months before his death, so none of his grandchildren ever got to know their Papaw. He and Maxine had been married for 28 years and 6 months. 

So I still hope I have a couple of days this week where I can have most of the day to myself so that I can get things done and mentally re-charge. But if I start getting really bent out of shape about it, I'm going to remember this and be happy to have the time I have with my little family.

And Happy Fiftieth Anniversary to my sister Maxine and her late husband Ronnie, still her one and only true love.

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Maxine was really young when she and Ronnie got married. They didn't get married for the reason some may think. She was still in school, he proposed, she didn't want to wait, Mom had five kids at home (had just married off her oldest daughter and her son had just moved into his own place), and she and Dad gave their permission.  Maxine stayed in school, got pregnant with their first child October the year they married, graduated in May of 1969, and gave birth to that child in July of 1969.  I remember his birth very well, even though I was only three. I was SO jealous of him. lol  I was quite a momma's baby and was jealous of my mother's attentions to him, but also was rather jealous of "Nanny's" and "Nonnie's" (what Barbara and I called Maxine and Ronnie) attentions to their firstborn, because I thought they belonged to ME! But I got used to him.... He was followed two months later by the eldest granddaughter (my sister Dennice's firstborn), and I have no real memory of her birth, so I must have gotten used to the idea of there being grandchildren in my parents' lives by that time.

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Ok, so everyone is out of the house for a few hours, and I have "relieved my spleen" here and given myself a scold here in my blog, so now I am off to get some of those things done.

~~ Lori

Closing out 2017

In preparation for doing my end-of-year post I went back to read last year's post which you can find here. So as I close out 2017 I might just have to review and meditate on how I closed out 2016.

So 2017...

My mother turned 94.  Her health was really very much better this year than last year. They were finally able to help her terrible sciatic pain. She has slowed down significantly, as one would expect. But she is still so very healthy and strong, and her mind is still as sharp as ever. As a matter of fact, a couple of weeks ago she was doing one of those health surveys over the phone, I assume in connection with her insurance or some other health-related plan she belongs to, and my sister, Lois, sitting next to her, was helping her, making sure she heard the questions and was giving the answer she wanted to give. She was on speaker phone. My sister, P.J., who was there at the time, said that after several questions they asked her "How would you describe your overall health?" And P.J. said that Mom chirped brightly, "Excellent!!"  And that is what she is -- Excellent! I hope we have her with us many more years. :)

My brother, on the other hand... has had a significant change in his health for the worse. I have written before about his situation and that my sister Barbara is his main caregiver.  I will write more about this later, in more detail, but for now I will say that we had a scare very recently during which time it was discovered that he has an aneurysm and a pseudo-aneurysm in his groin area. They are both very large, and surgery is not an option because of the state of his veins. He could continue as he is for years, with his health deteriorating at the rate it has been doing so, or faster, or he could throw a blood clot or have an aneurysm rupture at any time. So we have made plans, arrangements, had family meetings, made sure that Barbara still feels able to handle his care at home. (She said, "I long ago resigned myself to the fact that Brother could die on my watch. I can handle it if that happens."  And that is what we needed to hear from her.) So, as I said, I'll write more about that later.

Thomas had treatment for prostate cancer.  That was a bucket of ice water to the face. He is doing very, very well.  The radiation treatments brought his PSA numbers down to better than normal. He will continue to take the hormone shots for a while, and they will continue to monitor his health, of course. I saw him tired this year in a way I have never, ever seen him, and that was a bit scary for me. But he is back to being his strong and happy self.  Last year I wrote about us, "There are, supposedly, landmark years where things change for people as individuals biologically and mentally, aren't there?...Well, anyway, I found that this year Thomas and I reached a new "plane" in our marriage, and it's a very good plane.  It seems like in areas where we might have been prone to disagree or make a big deal out of something, we are now more relaxed and accommodating toward one another. THIS YEAR I have seen a lot of little things solidify or bend, as the need may be, and I have felt more contentment as an individual and as a couple and a family."    In 2017 we celebrated our 30th anniversary. We had so very much to celebrate!

Andrew and Alexandria got married! We were so happy to welcome Alexandria officially as our daughter. We love and admire her so much, and they are so good for one another. Andrew is happier than I have seen him in years, content in a way I don't know if I've ever seen before.

Eler Beth and Anthony got engaged! I won't go on and on about that, because I have already written so many posts about them! Ha Ha!  But last year I wrote about Eler Beth, "She has great friends she can depend on, and is still intent on staying single until the perfect man for her comes along." Well, Anthony was one of those friends, and he came along.  He is the perfect match, the perfect complement for her and she for him.

I wrote last year that I had more trouble with depression and anxiety than I had had for many years and figured I was peri-menopausal.  I am still not IN menopause, but I guess I am in peri-menopause. I haven't actually asked my doctor about that. It wasn't any worse this year, and might perhaps have been a bit better, despite the cancer scare. Or maybe I just found that I can still call on reserves of strength when I need to be there for my husband while his hormones are out of whack, and he is overly tired from the radiation, and he is uncharacteristically having trouble concentrating and remembering things. And maybe one child marrying his best friend and the other child getting engaged to her best friend buoyed me up significantly. Anyway, I'm well. I'm enjoying planning Eler Beth's wedding and enjoying spending time with her and Anthony and Andrew and Alexandria.

I will end this post the way I ended last year's --  I hope anyone reading this has a very nice 2018. I hope I do too.

~~ Lori