Perspective

The past few days I have been a little bit pouty and "woe is me" and feeling oh-so sorry for myself for several reasons. I've kept it to my myself and not ruined anyone else's day or asked for a "poor baby," or anything, and I have maybe a BIT of a right to have felt the way I have, but something my sister, Maxine, posted on Facebook yesterday made me  feel a bit ashamed of myself and put things in perspective.

I like my "me" time. As a matter of fact, I really, seriously, honestly, NEED "me" time in order to function well mentally and physically. And when I say "me" time, I don't just mean time to relax and do something for "me." I mean time alone at home to WORK, to do things for other people correctly, to be able to THINK so that I don't forget something important, to be able to talk aloud to myself or to the pets without someone thinking I'm talking to them and saying, "what?" or trying to answer me.  I need time when there are NO interruptions or when there is nothing going on in the background to distract me so that I can pay bills, record receipts, look over and update my to-do list, take care of wedding planning business, make phone calls, write letters, wash dishes, clean the house, do laundry.... So, you see, I'm not talking about time to soak in a bubble bath, or watch my favorite movie while having a glass of wine, or read a book without interruption. I just want a bit of time a few times a week to GET THINGS DONE while no one is here. And I haven't had that. Thomas has been home a lot because of the weather; Eler Beth has been home a lot because of her work schedule, and; Anthony has been here a lot at our house because, well, that's where Eler Beth is! There is almost always someone here. 

So I've been feeling sorry for myself and letting it build up inside of me.

Then I saw this post by my third-eldest sibling yesterday:

"Well, it's been fifty years now. Ronnie and I were married on January 13, 1968. This picture was taken in May the following year.  We had stopped at Judy and Luke's the evening of my high school graduation from Hancock Co. High -- 1969." And she included this picture:

Ronnie died in 1996 from a brain tumor after about a year of treatment. His first three grandchildren (one set of twins) were born in March and April, only a few months before his death, so none of his grandchildren ever got to know their Papaw. He and Maxine had been married for 28 years and 6 months. 

So I still hope I have a couple of days this week where I can have most of the day to myself so that I can get things done and mentally re-charge. But if I start getting really bent out of shape about it, I'm going to remember this and be happy to have the time I have with my little family.

And Happy Fiftieth Anniversary to my sister Maxine and her late husband Ronnie, still her one and only true love.

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Maxine was really young when she and Ronnie got married. They didn't get married for the reason some may think. She was still in school, he proposed, she didn't want to wait, Mom had five kids at home (had just married off her oldest daughter and her son had just moved into his own place), and she and Dad gave their permission.  Maxine stayed in school, got pregnant with their first child October the year they married, graduated in May of 1969, and gave birth to that child in July of 1969.  I remember his birth very well, even though I was only three. I was SO jealous of him. lol  I was quite a momma's baby and was jealous of my mother's attentions to him, but also was rather jealous of "Nanny's" and "Nonnie's" (what Barbara and I called Maxine and Ronnie) attentions to their firstborn, because I thought they belonged to ME! But I got used to him.... He was followed two months later by the eldest granddaughter (my sister Dennice's firstborn), and I have no real memory of her birth, so I must have gotten used to the idea of there being grandchildren in my parents' lives by that time.

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Ok, so everyone is out of the house for a few hours, and I have "relieved my spleen" here and given myself a scold here in my blog, so now I am off to get some of those things done.

~~ Lori